We read these headlines. If we live within the vicinity of Orlando, we SEE the terror, the unrest, and our joy being stripped from ourselves and others close to us. If we are not careful, we can easily experience secondary trauma and have panic attacks wondering, "When will it happen to me?"
More than at any other time, self-care is extremely important during a time of a major tragedy, especially if you secondary witness it thru the news, social media, or friends of friends who have family members who have been lost.
Here are 6 tips to post on your mirror to keep in mind during the next few months to a year after a horrific tragedy occurs:
- Stop, Breathe, Know That Somehow, Some Way, You Will Get Through This. When an unexpected crisis occurs, life as we knew it is forever changed. A new way of life will transpire, not just for yourself, but also for your neighbor, and your local community. Stay in contact with others, as you are not alone. There is someone at work, your church, next door, at your child's school, that is also learning to face a "new normal".
- Grief Is To Be Expected. Multiple mixed feelings will flood and sometimes overwhelm you. You may feel agonizing pain, sheer shock & denial, overwhelming joy to see your community join together, anger (both at the cause and at others who couldn't stop it), and sense of urgency to protect your immediate family. By recognizing why you have these emotions and begin to accept them, you will feel more in control and less panic or hopelessness. Put yourself in the midst of people you trust and feel comfortable sharing these emotions with. Support can come from a hug, sharing stories, tears, or spiritual guidance.
- Maintain Your Usual Routine, While Allowing Some Time to Grieve. It is VERY IMPORTANT to do BOTH of these. This is especially important for our amazing First Responders and Medical Staff. They are equipped and trained to maintain their usual routine in order to help in a crisis situation, but often are not told they also need to find time to grieve the loss of lives. For the rest of us, it is of utmost importance for us to turn off the news & social media and continue to live a life as close to what used to be our usual routine. Our minds can only handle so much of a crisis and we need a sense of stability that our usual routine can afford us. Then, add some time in our day when are most at peace (morning, afternoon, or night) to allow our emotions to flood our minds, so that they are safely contained to a specific time and do not control us.
- Be Sensitive and Patient With Yourself. Let's be honest. Even if you want to maintain your routine, it will be more difficult and you won't be as focused or as productive as you typically are. During periods of extreme stress or a major crisis, our minds are on high alert. For the next 3-6 months, limit the number of added projects you give yourself, until you know how the tragedy will actually impact you.
- Escape For Awhile In A Healthy Manner. Get lost in a good book. Take bike rides down a trail. Go to the beach or mountains or another peaceful place for the day. Listen to positive, uplifting music. Just 20 min a day of "escaping" can reduce anxiety and physical symptoms from emotional pain.
- Seek Professional Help From Someone Who is Objective. I have many clients who are depended on by their family members to be the "strong one". Even the strong ones, need someone they can lean on for support. There is something safe and secure about meeting with a professional marriage & family therapist or mental health counselor to help you sort through the events of a tragedy and provide a light to the end of a dark tunnel that occurs when you experience a major tragedy.
My prayers are continuously directed towards those who have lost a loved one, that God would provide them with peace and support during this difficult time in their lives.
Sandi Burchfield, MS, IMT-1129
Marriage & Family Therapist
#PrayForOrlando
